The Phantom Menace 1999

B

I just saw it tonight. The visual effects were incredibly ambitious. Jar Jar actually looked pretty much like a person in costume so it is pretty amazing that he wasn’t (they still have trouble getting the texture of clothing correct and note that no computer generated people have hair). Jar Jar wasn’t as annoying as I had heard he was, but he was pretty much an incompetent waste of time. I suppose in that sense he has filled in more for C3PO than Chewbacca. There are so many different kinds of creatures here and almost all of them are virtual. I did notice that the mouth movements are never quite right. A mouth is so expressive, but Jabba is the only one with a mouth that moves much and his is still oversimplified. How can someone yell, scream or laugh without being able to open their mouth very much? I don’t know if there were any vehicles in this one as striking as the Snow Walkers from Empire.

This movie has no real soul, I agree. If you thought it was anticlimactic knowing the Titanic was going to sink at the end of the movie, then prepare to be really disappointed in this. Maybe if, when all this is done, you could wipe your memory and then watch all six movies in order then this first one might hold some sort of promise, but you know huge amounts of what will happen here.

But you’re going to see it no matter what I say and I think that’s good. It’s a movie worth seeing. It is entertaining and has great special effects ("special effects” can’t even aptly describe it though. It is a whole visual experience). The actors are almost universally flat and I have to blame the director. The kid is pretty much awful. Why not have a 12-year old kid so that you can get someone that can act better? He was supposed to show fear and yet he never does. Or sadness, or excitement, or anything else. Ewan McGregor was okay though I think Chris O’Donnell’s Robin was a better sidekick (perhaps he would have been a better choice). I’m just plain tired of Liam Neeson. I don’t care if he’s never in another movie. He is more one-dimensional than Kevin Costner, except he has an Irish accent. Even Samuel L. Jackson is bad in this!

The queen was played well, the only character where flat was actually part of the personality. Really she is the only character, other than Jar Jar, that ever develops. The only one who turns out to be more than your immediate first impression.

The combat droids are pretty cool but you can see why the idiotic stormtroopers were an improvement for the empire. But it is much more fun to watch these new guys blow to pieces and clank around than to just watch a stormtrooper fall over.

The fight scenes are good and that Darth Maul is pretty wicked. He has moves MC Hammer couldn’t copy.

I think a good re-introduction to this series would have been a pretty much straight Western with some serious swashbuckling by a couple of Jedi’s. Something like Butch and Sundance. Forget everything else and have a fun, fun movie. Instead they tried to re-invent the magic and majesty of Star Wars.

I have complaints, but overall this movie has a LOT to see and take in. Go see it and enjoy it.

I give it a B.

Written: 23 May 1999

Owned on: Digital