Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest 2006

D+

It is always a bad sign when they film two sequels at a time. The first I remember doing this was Back to the Future and both of those were awful. The Matrix did this as well and those fell short too, adding a bunch of details and bigger fight scenes, but no magic. In this movie we find out Davy Jones keeps his heart in a chest, an apt metaphor for this movie which also lacks heart.

Johnny Depp has a much larger part in this movie, but a little of Captain Jack Sparrow goes a long way, and less is more with more also being less in this case. Absolutely everyone in the first movie returns for this one, plus they throw in a whole new group of characters. Again they give us more, but it feels like less. There’s nothing like character development taking place. And what’s worse, at two and a half hours, this movie drags on and on. Not in terms of nothing happening because there is always a lot happening, or a lot of movement on screen anyway. It is just one long chase scene after another with a few pieces of menacing, grotesque exposition to set up the story. Perhaps like the ride the movie is based on, there are tons of moving parts but it is still boring. With a third installment on the way, they can’t really resolve much in this one and by the time it is over you have spent a very, very long two and half hours spinning your wheels.

In the first movie, the crew of the Black Pearl couldn’t be killed, but would fight over and over again. There doesn’t seem to be a rule like that here, but it is still applied. Despite countless fight scenes nobody seems to get hurt. Davy Jones is a magical creature who seems to control the sea, but his ship can’t catch up with another one? The whole thing is just a big ludicrous mess. If you like mindless action scenes, it may be entertaining, but otherwise prepare to be disappointed.

I’ll give this a D+.